Sleep Training and Daycare
You’ve worked long and hard to get your child to sleep well. They’re now masters when it comes to sleep. But the time has finally come when you have to send them to daycare…
And in walks one of the biggest obstacles parents face. Whether baby is already on a carefully planned schedule or parents were just about to start baby on one, a problem obviously arises if their daycare provider does not follow the same schedule.
In the latter scenario, parents have a little bit more leeway (since no schedule is set yet). The first thing I’ll always suggest is to spend time looking around to try and find a daycare that follows at least a similar schedule to the ones parents are most comfortable with.
Sleep is clearly such a crucial part of baby’s development and their day-to-day life – it’s understandable that it will be a primary concern when trying to figure out where baby will be spending the majority of their waking hours. This is why I’m a huge advocate for shopping around until you find one that’s on the same page as you when it comes to baby’s sleep.
Unfortunately, there are only so many options for daycares in a given area – so it’s unlikely to be a viable option for many.
Even still, with the few options that may be available, I know when it comes to babies older than 1, the majority of daycares will only put kids down for one nap a day. In this instance, the most important thing to do is communicate what you’re okay with. Let them know that you’ve been working on a naptime schedule and ask if they can accommodate the times you’ve been working with. If they agree, great! Who wouldn’t want to have a baby that sleeps a lot, and is able to go down to sleep easily? Champion sleepers are usually welcome anywhere they go!
It’s also important to communicate to let your daycare know if you are okay with a little bit of crying while baby falls asleep, because if you don’t tell them otherwise, they’ll almost always soothe baby to sleep in one way or another as soon as they start to make some noise.
Some daycares, do however have a policy regarding crying and will pick baby up to soothe as soon as they start crying regardless of your instructions. This can obviously be frustrating if you know that your little one will fall asleep after 45 seconds of fussing. But if it is the policy, and there is not much you or the staff can do about it, don’t stress too much and focus on how to minimize the effect they have on the program.
Also let the daycare know what you would prefer as far as “sleep props” go, and what you would prefer they avoid. If you’ve just broken a serious soother habit, tell them about it and ask that they avoid offering pacifiers. If baby has a strong association between rocking and falling asleep, ask that they soothe baby without picking her up. I’ll remind you again that most daycares are happy to make some arrangements with parents if it means a happy, sleeping baby, and a happy, satisfied parent.
Some silver linings…
Babies are most often able to distinguish (somewhat!) between what happens at daycare and what happens at home, as far as sleep routines and habits are concerned. They have an easier time realizing that, even though they might have gotten rocked to sleep in one environment, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be getting the same treatment at home.
In the same vein, it’s not the end of the world if their schedule at daycare does not line up with the one they have at home. It’s a bonus if it works out, but not essential. So keep these points in mind when you’re deciding how much deviation from your method you are willing to accept.
The other point to keep in mind is that nap time sleep isn’t quite as deep and “high-quality” as nighttime sleep. Nighttime is when baby really gets the rejuvenating and restorative effects of a solid nights sleep. Even though they might be missing out on some nap time, it’s not as bad as if they weren’t getting those hours at night.
A few random tips:
Expect a few bad days as baby learns to adjust to this new routine. Give them grace!
If baby starts falling asleep on the way home – try to keep them awake. It’s better to get to bed early than to offer a catnap at 4/5 pm (unless baby is still on 3 or 4 naps). If baby does fall asleep, just add in a bit more awake time before bedtime.
If you haven’t started sleep training yet, and baby is already in daycare, start out on a Friday night. The first few nights are the toughest and this was, baby can start out at home before having to transfer this skill to a new setting.
To sum it all up … I’m not big on making exceptions to the rules, as routine and consistency plays such an important part in baby’s sleep, but sometimes, you just have to accept the reality of the situation. Work with your daycare, communicate your wishes, and explain why it’s important. Whatever they can’t accommodate, well… you might as well accept it and move on!