Tips for Baby Number 2
Bringing baby number two into the house is exciting and terrifying.
You already know what to expect so that makes it a lot easier….but because you know what to expect, it also makes it a lot scarier.
There are a lot of questions and concerns that may pop into your mind – how will your first child react to their new sibling? Will they embrace their role of big brother or sister? Will they turn into jealous little clingers who need constant attention and reassurance? How will their schedule fit in with your newborn’s naps and feeding times?
I’m sure there’s a lot more going on in your mind (as there was in mine just a few short months ago when I was still pregnant with Aliza, my second). So today, I’m sharing with you a few tips (from my own experience and from seasoned moms from my community on Instagram) that will hopefully make your second journey into motherhood just a little bit easier.
1.Get your child’s sleep in order before the new sibling arrives.
Would you expect anything else as the first tip from a sleep consultant?! The last thing you’ll want to deal with when your new baby arrives is the hours-long struggle to get your older little to sleep. Truthfully though, chances are, regardless of how great of a sleeper your older one is, a new sibling is bound to create changes for them. Having the skill to be able to fall asleep independently will go a long way in minimizing how long they may struggle for.
2. Incorporate big sibling into your tasks for the newborn
What your older child will be capable of doing depends on their age, but some ideas include:
Getting the diaper/wipes
Throwing out the dirty diaper
Holding the bottle to feed baby
Holding baby’s hand while you’re feeding/changing them
Have your older child sit next to you during the feed, and together you can read a book, play a game, cuddle, watch a show, etc
3. Remember that YOU’VE done this before. Your new baby hasn’t.
Your new baby is a completely different baby. Just because you’ve breastfed your older little doesn’t mean your little one will come to it easily. Just because you had your older kiddo sleeping through the night by 12 weeks doesn’t mean the same needs to or can happen with your newborn. Just because your first was rolling and sitting and crawling “on time” doesn’t mean this next one will be the same.
I guess the main point here is that you shouldn’t compare and don’t expect things to be the same. You can take your experiences from your first and try to do the same things or better, but that doesn’t mean things will be the same or better.
4. Allow opportunities for big sibling to touch their new sibling.
I think this tip is HUGE!! Depending on the age of your older kiddo, this new baby may be so foreign to them. Of course they’re going to want to touch and feel and press and prod as much as possible. With you present, and you guiding their hands, allow them to gently touch baby all over. Allow them to hold and hug and kiss and caress. They see you do it, so give them a chance to do the same! And better they do it in your presence, then try to secretly sneak it in when you’re not there.
Bonus tip: If they accidentally hurt baby – try not to make a big deal of it. Let’s not turn a simple act into a behavior they’ll repeat purposely to receive your attention (remember, even negative attention is still attention).
5. When you have a free moment, take advantage of it!
This applies whether you have 1 kiddo or many. When the rare moment arises where neither child is in need of your attention, you have the option to just sit there and relax (which is what I tend to do lol), or be productive (pump if needed, prepare your older kiddos next meal, or prepare a meal for yourself!!). In my experience, I almost always regret having relaxed because when I then needed to do any of the other things on my to-do-list, I was suddenly being demanded again.
I guess what I’m trying to say is – don’t be like me, at least not all the time ;)
6. Tell your partner what you need. Alternatively, accept any help being offered to you.
This definitely applies to all moms, first-timers and old-timers!
While I was still pregnant, I told my husband a couple things I needed to be on his shoulders once baby number 2 arrived (some items on this list include feeding and dressing Asher in the morning, bringing me water whenever I was breastfeeding, and washing pump parts). Remember that they can’t read your mind and won’t be able to do what isn’t asked of them.
And if any of your friends or family offer to help, whether it’s bringing over a meal or holding the baby, learn to say okay. This needs no explanation, but it was personally so difficult for me!
And that’s it! Are there any major tips you feel I missed out on? If so, be sure to let me know!
If you are currently expecting, or if you just had your newest little, congratulations and may this journey bring you much happiness!