Baby Won’t Lie Down at Bedtime

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve got a little one that’s been falling asleep in an awkward position (read this blog for more) or not falling asleep because of a certain position they’re in and can’t get out of. Or maybe you heard that it can be an issue and you’re looking to prepare on how to deal with it ahead of time.

What I’m specifically referring to is what usually happens when baby has learned to stand up (though it’s common with the sitting milestone too).

This is a huge step in baby’s development (and an exciting time for parents), but it can also bring with it some bedtime drama as baby had not yet learned how to get back down.

During the day, this isn’t a big deal. Your little one can stand for as long as they like and practice going from standing to sitting with you by their side helping when needed. But at night – we can’t always be there to help baby on an as needed basis.

I know this puts parents into a sort of catch-22 position. On the one hand, you can’t just leave baby in a situation where they might fall down and hurt themselves, but on the other hand, if you keep going in and laying them down, baby doesn’t learn how to do it themselves. Furthermore, baby quickly learns that standing up and making a big deal about not being able to get don is a pretty effective way to get mom or dad back into the room – any attention is better than no attention!

I know how frustrating it can be when this is happening, especially when it’s the middle of the night and it’s happened 5 times already. And the solution is so simple – all they need is to lay down.

So there’s a fine line we need to walk in order to help baby figure out how to solve their problem without creating a bad habit that could disrupt their sleep.

As with all things within parenting, patience is essential. Keep in mind that baby just does not know HOW to go from standing to sitting on their own just yet. And even though they may KNOW sleep is easier when lying down, they’re not very much in control of this impulse within them to keep on standing.

In fact, did you know that with any new skill that baby learns – their brains are wired to obsess over practicing it until they master it. It’s really a compulsion they have little control over. And they practice at night because that’s when the brain processes that day’s events.

So what can you do?

Help them master it. Baby will soon get the hang of it, just like they do with every other milestone. But your help can go a long way. Practice going from standing to sitting any chance you get. When baby pulls up into a standing position, put toys nearby on the ground to encourage them to go back down to ground level.

In the meantime, try not to create a situation where baby starts relying on you to do the work for them at night. Avoid repeatedly laying baby down when they stand in the crib. You can do it a few times at first to show baby what’s expected but once that’s established, switch to a more suggestive approach that does not involve physical contact. Pat the mattress, use phrases like “lay your head down,” or “come lie down,” and before long, they should start to connect the dots and do it without needing you.

Remember that even though it looks like your little one is fighting sleep, that’s almost never the case. In fact, they want to sleep, but may lack the skills necessary to get there on their own. So help them figure it out without doing the work for them.

And finally, be sure to be on the same page as your partner. The last thing you want is to be using different strategies when responding as this can lead to a lot of confusion and slower progress!

As always feel free to reach out if you need assistance with this issue, or with any other one. I’m here to help!