Birth Stories
This is a post I’ve wanted to put up (write up) for a while. Since it’s been 6 weeks since Aliza was born, I figured it’s about time!
I’m going to start with sharing Asher’s story…
But before getting into it, I need to preface by saying that everything worked out exactly how it was supposed to and I’m actually grateful that it happened in this way.
My pregnancy was mostly uneventful. Except for concerns from my doctor about him measuring too small (so they started monitoring me weekly towards the end), there was really nothing wrong.
I started having contractions on Monday morning, June 17. Being that it was my first time, I had no idea when I woke up that morning that the cramps I suddenly started feeling were contractions. I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks all throughout my 3rd trimester, but this was definitely not that. My mom was the one who told me it was likely contractions and to start timing them. I ended up going to work (much to my mother and husband’s dismay) because the pain didn’t feel too bad.
I felt contractions all throughout the day, but nothing intense, and nothing too close together. My mother did keep telling me I should go to the hospital – but I felt like it would be pointless. Even though it was my first time and you don’t know what to expect – I strongly felt like it wasn’t time to go, mostly because it didn’t feel super painful yet, which is what I based things off of.
By evening time, the contractions were closer together and more painful, but still tolerable. Something in me said it wasn’t time yet, so we went to sleep.
Around 5 am, I couldn’t sleep through the contractions anymore, so I started timing them – 10 minutes apart. Just before 6 am, I decided to just get up and get dressed so I’d be ready to go when needed, but once I got up, the contractions were suddenly a lot more painful and happening every 5 minutes – it was time to go!
We got to the hospital sometime after 7 am, and I was apparently only 2.5 centimeters dilated. My doctor said I'd be there for hours. This was a major upset for me. I was in a lot of pain already, and being only 2.5 cm was shocking. Also, my entire pregnancy, I actually kept saying that labor would be less than 3 hours long for me (there was no reason why I said this...I was just hoping it’d be true).
I think they actually wouldn't have admitted me into the hospital, except my blood pressure was super high (like 180/120). They told me I couldn't walk around until they got my lab results back that could tell them what was going on with me.
And this made everything worse. Laying down made it hurt so much because I could not get into positions that felt comfortable during contractions. I was begging for an epidural. If you’d like an image to go with this wacky description – picture me squirmed up in bed, laying on my side writhing in pain. It really felt like the worst period cramps of my life.
And with each contraction, I was yelling at Simcha to get a nurse, but there was nothing they could do until my results came back. It felt like forever. In reality, it was probably around 9:15 or so when my doctor came back to check on me (I was still only 2.5 cm!!) and to tell me that I had pre-eclampsia (which meant nothing because all I wanted was the epidural!).
Finally in the delivery room, at 9:30 am, the anesthesiologist came in and started asking all these questions, getting my consent, etc. Meanwhile, I was probably screaming to just get me the dang epidural. It was really painful.
I think around 938 (my husband had been texting updates to my mom at that point which is how I know the time), my water broke. I, in denial, thought I'd still be able to get the shot…but apparently, the anesthesiologist looked at Simcha and shook his head. He left and a whole bunch of people rushed in instead.
It was time to push, and at 9:42, Asher was born. He was 4 lbs, 2 oz. (Side note, turns out my wishful thinking/positive word power worked – my labor did end up being under 3 hours!)
I didn't get to hold him right away, or for too long either when I finally did get a chance because they had to take him to the NICU. Honestly though, I was so out of it that it didn’t even make a difference to me. Recovery was hard. I was on a 24 hour course of magnesium and could barely walk without getting lightheaded. I had intense shoulder pain for a few days and couldn’t turn my neck to the right without it hurting.
Asher ended up being in the NICU for 5 days, until Sunday, while I went home on Thursday. I got to start visiting him Wednesday morning, just after my first pumping session (I remember being so excited about 5 ml – I was hyped up by the lactation consultants).
As crazy as it seems, it was such a blessing in disguise to go home without him. Although I didn’t feel like I could relax knowing he was there (even though he was totally fine), in hindsight, it really was awesome. The best parts about it is that the nurses put him on a schedule and introduced him to a pacifier and bottle, and I got to learn a lot from the nurses and lactation consultants about caring for him, pumping, proper breastfeeding, etc.
The main takeaway for me was that I felt not in control during Asher’s labor. And this time around, I knew that I needed it to be different.
So without further ado, let’s move on to Aliza’s story…
I started having contractions Friday morning, December 4th. Once again, I knew it was nothing. All of Friday and Saturday day/afternoon, contractions were there, but inconsistent and not painful. They slowly started getting more and more painful as the evening wore on, so I called my sister and asked her to sleep over in the likely event that we’d be leaving to the hospital in the middle of the night. We kept trying to time the contractions, but they were inconsistent, between 3-8 minutes apart.
Around midnight, I decided to try to get some sleep. I figured if I could sleep through them, then they’re not really that painful and it’s not time to go in yet. I woke up around 2 am unable to sleep anymore. I told Simcha we should go, but it still didn’t feel like it was time. I really based everything on the pain, but also, remembering that last time, it hurt a lot and I was only 2.5 cm. I really didn’t want to go in and be sent back home. But we finally left the house around 3:15.
3:55 am: We were in the triage room, and I recall telling the nurse that I wasn’t going to lay down because I wanted to go through contractions by walking around. I was proud of myself because I knew this is what I needed. Even though I knew that nurses and doctors can’t make you do anything, I didn’t think I could advocate for myself.
When I was finally checked, I was 4 cm dilated, so they were able to admit me. I was really happy. I got to the delivery room sometime between 4:30 and 5 am. And by that time, the contractions were definitely very painful.
A note on the epidural: I didn’t want to get it. I was praying throughout my entire pregnancy that labor would be just as quick as it was with Asher, and that I’d get to the hospital too late that it wouldn’t even be an option. The memory of how painful my contractions made me want it, but in reality, I wanted to be able to do without it.
So, every time I was in the middle of a contraction, I’d tell Simcha, “I think I’m going to get it, it hurts too bad.” But then the pain would end, and I’d forget about it.
(Spoiler alert: I didn’t end up getting it!)
Just before 6 am, my doctor came in wanting to break my water. I think I was 6 or 7 cm and she told me this would help to speed it along. So we did that. (Side note – the scariest part of this entire labor was actually when she was trying to break my water and couldn’t feel the sac. No idea why, but I guess it just took her a bit. My brain did go into overdrive thinking worst case scenarios for a hot minute!)
She ended up being right because not too long later, I felt an intense urge to push. (I actually don’t remember feeling this with Asher, I think because of how quickly it all happened. All I remember feeling then was pain – which sucks.)
So even though I felt that, I was told I couldn’t push. She checked me and I was only 8 cm. It’s wild to me that my body literally felt like it was ready to go, but it apparently wasn’t physically ready. I recall saying to her, “What’s the problem with pushing now? I feel like I really need to.” To this, she replied that it could hurt my cervix. Except she said it in a way that scared me into keeping my legs shut!
I did make her keep checking me after every contraction though; and it slowly crept up – at first 9, then 9.5, and then finally 10. Finally, I got the go ahead to push… a couple pushes and she was out at 6:31!
I was really so proud of myself. I felt like I had total control this time, like I knew exactly what my body needed. And you know what else, I’m thankful for Simcha. With Asher’s birth, he was basically useless (said in the most loving, but honest, way lol). This time, I felt very supported by him, and I’m grateful.
Overall, it was an uneventful labor, thank gd – a very nice change of pace from Asher’s.