Breastfeeding and Sleep Training
Limitless.
That’s how much information is out there on the internet when it comes to all things parenting. And the topic of breastfeeding – well, it’s no exception.
And what could possible make this even worse? The sheer amount of information out there, and how conflicted the experts are with one another’s point of views. Even among the medical professionals, you can read one person say that “____” is absolutely essential, and then go to a different page and read another person saying that “____” is absolutely wrong. It really can get overwhelming.
So what are you supposed to do as a parent?
Well, I guess I can’t really tell you what you’re “supposed” to do, but I can tell you what I did.
I took the information I found, analyzed it, and filtered it through a combination of common sense and personal beliefs until I was able to come up with a strategy and answer that I was comfortable and that worked for me. I think that’s all anyone can really do.
Now, I want to share with you the thought process that goes into the answer of whether you can sleep train and breastfeed.
The argument starts with the idea that breast milk gets digested faster than formula, and therefore, babies who are breastfed need to wake up several times a night in order to feed. Otherwise, they will feel hungry throughout the night, be unable to sleep, and will potentially suffer from malnutrition. (While this may seem extreme, it serves its point!)
Let me also share a few facts on sleep that you should be aware of regardless of whether you are breastfeeding and trying to decide whether or not to sleep train your child, but especially important if you are debating and trying to make that choice! After all, what’s the point of sleep training if your baby’s nutrition needs will prevent them from sleeping through the night?
So here’s an interesting fact – nobody sleeps through the night.
You might think you do, or that you did before you had kids, or that your partner does – but I assure you, unless you’re heavily sedated or maybe falling into bed after a wild night out ;), you definitely wake up at least a few times during the night – you always have and you always will!
When we sleep, we go through “sleep cycles” that go from light sleep to deep sleep and back again, typically 4-5 times a night. When we get to the end of a cycle and enter into a really light stage of sleep, we often wake up. People who think they sleep straight through the night typically don’t remember these little wake ups, but they do experience them nonetheless.
Baby’s sleep cycles are shorter than adult ones, so they so wake up more often in the night. And babies who are said to “sleep through the night” are still wake up, but manage to get themselves back to sleep on their own without any help from Mom or Dad.
So when we talk about “sleeping through the night,” in terms of babies anyways, what we’re really saying is that they’re able to get to sleep on their own – or as we call it in the baby sleep world – baby has “independent sleep skills.”
So it doesn’t really matter if baby is breastfed, formula fed, or only eating two times a day. They’re going to wake up at night, several times, for the rest of their lives, just like everyone else.
Now, as for the idea that breast milk digests faster than formula – that is true, but not to the degree that a lot of people describe.
Newborns can go about 2.5-3 hours between feeds if they’re breastfeeding. If they’re formula fed, that range could be closer to 3.5-4 hours. (Side note, this also does depend on how many ounces baby is ingesting at a given time!)
The reality is, this .5-1 hour difference does not make formula some kind of magical elixir that will keep baby full and satiated for 10 hours. Babies stomachs are small and they are going to digest liquid food quickly, whether it comes from a boob or a bottle.
What does this mean for parents of newborns in regards to their baby sleeping 11-12 hours through the night? Well, simply put, forget about it. It does happen. Some babies really do go down for the night regardless of hunger, but those babies are few! Chances are, you’re going to have to get up to feed your little one until they’re about 6 months old.
BUT, this does not mean that you should put your baby’s sleep on the back burner until they hit that 6 month mark. Quite the opposite, in fact. Teaching your baby to fall asleep independently is something you can’t start too early! I just want you to understand that if they are under 6 months, you might not get a full night’s sleep just yet, but the depending factor is not whether they’re breastfed or formula fed – because remember, either one will yield similar results when it comes to keeping baby full.
Around the six month mark is when baby should be able to start sleeping through the night without a feed, and that includes babies who are breastfed.
The trouble is (and this is where the debate heats up a bit), a lot of the time, breastfed babies are “fed on demand.” (And please note, there is no problem with this if it works for you, for your baby, for your lifestyle, and for your schedule.) So in theory, if baby is waking up 5 times a night for a feed, the principle of “feeding on demand” would require you to get up and feed baby all 5 times a night.
But if baby is six months old, gaining weight at a normal rate, and able to eat as many calories as they need during the day, then chances are, baby is not waking in the nighttime for food. After the six month mark, the most common reason for babies waking in the night is because feeding is part of their strategy for falling asleep.
This is something else that we adults have in common with our babies. We all have strategies for getting to sleep. As adults, we’ve all established our own little rituals for bedtime. Maybe it involves getting a glass of water to put on the nightstand, brushing our teeth, getting into a specific position, or reading a book for a bit – but in the end, it’s all a strategy to help signal our brain and body that it’s time for sleep.
Baby sleep strategies are less sophisticated, but they serve the same purpose. They help baby get into a familiar, comfortable place where their body and brain recognizes what it is supposed to do – sleep.
So if feeding is part of that strategy, then it doesn’t matter if there is actual food coming their way. It’s often times the sucking motion, the feeling of mom next to them, or the familiarity of the situation that helps them get to sleep. And they can get very dependent on it.
Obviously, every baby is different. Some may actually still be hungry enough during the night and actually require a feed. With that in mind, here are a few indicators that can help to inform you if those nighttime wakes are the result of hunger or a lack of independent sleep skills.
Does baby only take a small amount when they feed in the night?
Do they fall asleep within five minutes of starting their feed?
Does baby eventually go back to sleep if they don’t get fed?
Do they only sleep for 45 minutes to an hour after a nighttime feed?
If you answered yes to most or all of these, then your baby probably falls into the “feeding as a sleep strategy” camp, and could benefit from learning independent sleep skills. It does not mean that you cannot breastfeed on demand. It just means you’ll have to reassess when exactly baby is demanding a feed and when they are looking for help getting to sleep.
So to answer the questions posed at the very beginning – are sleep training and breastfeeding mutually exclusive?
The answer in my mind is straight up no.
Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience for both mom and baby. I support it 100%! And having a baby who sleeps through the night may not quite as magical, but it definitely comes close, and there is absolutely no reason why you can’t have both together! (On a personal note, my son was sleep trained around 4 months, and I got to continue exclusively breastfeeding him until he was about 11.5 months old)
As always, if you need a little help guiding you through the occasionally tricky process of teaching your baby to sleep through the night, I’ve got you covered!