Maintaining Baby's Sleep Over the Holiday's
Everyone is excited for the holidays. Everyone, that is, except for parents who’ve only recently gotten their child’s sleep on track.
There’s nothing like travel, and excitement, and attention, and FAMILY to throw all your hard work out the window.
But I’m happy to tell you that IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. With some strategic planning, and an iron will, you can keep your routine running just the way you did at home.
If you haven’t sleep trained you little one yet, and you’re interested in getting started, but you have a trip coming up in a few weeks – WAIT! My recommendation is to put off sleep training until you get back. Although if you are looking for an excuse to cancel your trip, not wanting to throw your baby’s sleep schedule out of whack is a pretty good one ;)
When sleep training, we are trying to instill new and healthy habits into your child’s routine. We want to maintain that consistency for as long as possible before throwing a couple wrenches into the mix that have the potential to set it all back. So consider waiting if you have the option and/or luxury.
If you’ve already started sleep training, not to worry! Taking a trip typically won’t help your little one sleep better, but if you can maintain some semblance of normalcy until you’re back home, you and back should be ready to get back to business as soon as you get home.
There are typically 2 major impediments to your little one’s sleep over the holidays: Travel and Family/Friends. Let’s tackle both of these separately.
First off, travel.
If you’re driving to your destination, a clever trick is to schedule your driving time over baby’s naps/bedtime. Sleeping in the car is not ideal, especially not for naps, but compared to driving during baby’s awake time – it’s the lesser of two evils by far. So if at all possible, get on the road around the time that baby would normally be taking their first nap.
I will say: this will definitely be easier for the younger babies. Older kids, especially those who have been sleep trained and have gotten used to falling asleep independently in their crib likely will have a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep in the car. That’s okay. Take what you can get. Factor in the need for an early bedtime into your schedule for that day to make up for lost sleep.
If you’re flying… well, my heart goes out to you.
Now, I’ve personally never flown on a plane with my son, but from the stories I’ve heard – it’s clear to me that it’s no secret that planes and babies just do not seem to get along. So I suggest (and this is probably the only time you’ll hear me say this) that you do whatever you need to do to get through the flight with a minimum amount of fuss. Short of anything deemed unsafe, snacks, phone, ignoring wake windows – just go with it.
The truth is, if baby doesn’t want to sleep on the plane – they’re just not going to. So why try to force it? It will only lead to a lot of frustration, for you, baby, and probably the passengers around you.
Okay, so you’ve made it to your destination. Whether you’re in the car or plane, everybody is on your side. Keeping baby relaxed, quiet, and hopefully asleep is everyone’s goal. But now comes the hard part.
When it comes to family, it’s just the opposite. Everyone wants baby awake so they can see them, play with them, take a thousand pictures, and get them ridiculously over-stimulated. And it’s exceptionally difficult to tell all of these friends and family members that you’re putting an end to the fun because baby needs to get to sleep.
So if you need permission to be the bad guy, I’m giving it to you! Don’t negotiate, make exceptions, or feel bad about it. Firmly explain to anyone who gives you the “I’ll just sneak in and take a quick peek” routine that baby is in the middle of sleep training (or in the middle of maintaining your sleep routine) and you’re not taking any chances of waking them up. Let them know when baby will be getting up and tell them to hang around, come back, or catch you the next time. Or better yet, tell people in advance when to expect some baby time based off of baby’s schedule.
I know it sounds harsh, but the alternative is an almost immediate backslide right back into how things used to be. Baby misses a nap, gets fired up because of all the new faces and activities, overtiredness kicks in, cortisol production increases, and the next nap is ruined, resulting in more overtiredness which then derails nighttime sleep. Before you know it, you’re headed home and it seems like baby did nothing but cry the entire trip.
While this may seem like an exaggeration, it really can happen this quickly.
So okay, you’ve gotten over your nerves and let everyone know you’re not budging on baby’s sleep. And they’ve all made peace with it. How can you best make it happen?
Mimic baby’s home sleeping environment as best as possible. If you can get this done in advance, or first thing when you arrive, you’ll be ahead of the game! Darkness, white noise, sleep sack, etc. Whatever it is you need, make it happen.
The two biggest problems I hear in this regard though are, “how to make it dark enough in a temporary space?” and “there’s only one room for the family to share.”
Let’s tackle it one by one again:
How to make it dark enough?
Be creative with what you use to cover the windows and door frames. I’ve had families use blankets and towels, others were a little more creative with their use of aluminum foil or garbage cans to line the windows. At this point, you have to do what works and not focus on what looks pretty!
If baby is going to be sleeping in a pack n’ play, another great alternative is to invest in a Slumberpod. They completely ensconce the baby’s sleep space and work beautifully to keep it totally dark (in a very safe manner).
Room sharing?
The biggest thing I want you to be careful with is to avoid bed sharing. It may seem like doing so for a few nights may not be the end of the world, but baby can develop a real affinity for co-sleeping in as little as one night (especially if that was their previous prop!). So if you will be room sharing, make it into two rooms.
Now I’m not suggesting you whip out that lumbar and drywall you just happen to carry around in your back pocket, but I do suggest hanging a blanket, setting up a dressing screen, or even (dare I say it??) put baby in the closet.
Now before you start throwing stones at me, just think about it – a decent sized closet is a great place for baby to sleep. It’s dark, quiet, baby won’t be distracted by being able to see you, and people accidentally walking in/out of the room are much less likely to distract baby.
A final alternative is that Slumberpod I mentioned earlier. It will be as if baby is in a separate space, so it really will kill two birds with one stone.
While we’re on the subject of “no exceptions,” I’d also like to extend that rule to all other sleep props. You might be tempted to slip baby a pacifier or rock them to sleep if they’re disturbing the rest of the house, but baby is going to get used to that really, really, really quickly, and chances are you’ll be waking up every hour or two being demanded to perform that same action throughout the night. And that’s going to disturb everyone else in the house a lot worse than a half hour of crying at 7 pm at night.
On a more serious note, I do find that the biggest reason parents give in on these points is, quite simply, because they’re embarrassed. There’s a house full of eyes and they’re all focused on the baby, and by extension, the parents. (I do know that I definitely suffered from this quite a few times when my son was pretty young, and it took a lot of willpower not to break!)
The feeling that everyone is making judgments about how you’re parenting may be nearly overwhelming during these family gatherings; but in those moments, remember what is most important.
You baby, your family, and their health and well-being.
There may be a few people who feel jaded because you put baby to bed just when they get in the door and your mother might tell you that putting a baby in the closet for the night is ridiculous, but remember you’re doing this for a very noble cause!
So stand tall and remember that you’re basically a superhero, defending sleep for those too small to defend it for themselves ;)