Life After Sleep Training
Sleep training your baby is HARD. It is demanding, and takes time and energy. It may bring on the tears (yours and/or baby). And it will require a lot of discipline. BUT – I’ve never had a client say it wasn’t worth it.
Once baby has finally gotten into a steady and predictable nap schedule and is consistently sleeping through the night – there is no better feeling!
But then, a new problem comes up – parents hesitate to deviate in any way from their routine. It’s one hundred percent understandable. After all, parents usually go from a horrible situation where no one is getting, or has been getting, any sleep to a completely opposite scenario where everyone is well-rested and happy.
That’s a big improvement for the entire family’s quality of life – but it also ends up being something parents are super hesitant to mess with.
I totally get it, but… when are YOU supposed to live YOUR life?
If you’re the parent of a young baby, that means naps 3 or 4 times a day and full nights of sleep every night. As baby gets older, wake windows do increase, but 2 or 3 hours still doesn’t give you THAT much time.
And I’m not referring to “When are you supposed to get out for a fun night/brunch with your girlfriends?” (though that definitely should be a part of it!)
I mean, “When are you supposed to buy food? Or go to the doctor? Or get your nails done?”
Let’s face it – if you’re sticking to a rigid nap schedule, whether it’s with a newborn or a toddler, you’ll get between 1-4 hours of time when you could conceivably get to the grocery store, get your hair done, or do any number of essential things. Add in needing to feed baby at some point during that time, and possibly throw in some play/entertainment for them as well – and you’ve basically run out of time already.
So for those times when life insists on impinging on your perfectly crafted schedule, I’ve got some advice for you to minimize the impact of a changed schedule:
1. First off, WAIT until you’ve formed a solid foundation for daytime naps. If baby has been sleeping well during the day for about 2 weeks, you can feel pretty confident about switching things up a little bit every once in a while.
*How often is “once in a while” though? I would say 4 out of every 5 days need to be consistent in order to not throw anything out of whack. And no, you can’t “bank” those days. Keeping your schedule consistent for 2 weeks straight does not mean you can then break the whole thing for 3 days in a row without repercussions!
2. If you have to skip a nap, or if you need to have one take place in the car or in the stroller, prioritize the first nap of the day. That’s usually the one where baby will get the most restorative, deep sleep, so keep the car nap or baby wearing nap for later on in the day if you can. (Although if your little one consistently naps for 45 minutes in the mornings and has a much longer nap later on in the afternoon, you can/should definitely switch up my advice!)
If you do end up needing to let baby nap in the car, do what you can to make sure it’s a full nap… or at the very least, a full nap cycle. If your little one falls asleep five minutes into a ten minute drive, consider either driving around for a bit or staying inside the parked car until a decent nap is had. You could theoretically try bringing baby up and leaving them in the car seat, or moving them into their crib, but we all know how that usually ends up.
I personally think you’d be better off just letting baby sleep wherever they managed to fall asleep to begin with. (Please be sure to supervise these naps though!)
If baby does wake up before they’ve had a decent nap, don’t try to put them back to sleep right away. You’re better off waiting about 30-60 minutes before trying again (this of course depends on baby’s age, how long they slept for, and when their next nap time is.
3. Above all, don’t be afraid to ask for some help if you can get it. Ideally, baby should be in their crib for their naps, but if you can pass baby over to a friend or grandparents for a few hours – take advantage of it!
4. What about nights? Since you’ve sleep trained, maybe you were the only one who has ever put baby down to sleep, and you just know that if anyone else tries to do the routine, it’ll rock the boat and baby won’t be able to fall asleep and everything will be ruined! Guess what though? Baby also needs to learn that no matter who is doing their bedtime routine, the end result is the same. All roads lead to sleep! It may be tricky the first time or two but baby will learn to associate bedtime routine with sleep whether it’s mom, dad, babysitter, or grandma doing it.
5. And finally, if baby does has a day of bad naps – implement an earlier bedtime for that night and remember that they’ll still be okay. It’s important for baby to sleep well and to have a consistent schedule/routine, but it’s also important for YOU to live your life, so let’s try to find a way to balance them!