Should I Help if Baby Looks Uncomfortable?

One of the “foundational” rules of sleep training is that you should provide the space and opportunity to let your baby develop their abilities to fall asleep on their own. So this ends up causing a lot of “Should I or shouldn’t I” moments when you’re looking at the baby monitor and see that your baby has pushed themselves into a really uncomfortable looking position at the edge of the crib.

Funny enough, this is actually most commonly seen in babies who were either rocked or nursed to sleep in momma’s arms, and are then transferred into the crib already asleep. As silly as it may seem, this is usually because they didn’t get the chance to learn that lying down makes sleep come more easily. And also, because they’ve been held in a certain position in their parent’s arms, there was never a chance for any kind of exploration or experimentation.

This leads to baby falling asleep in some pretty amusing positions when they are eventually left to figure it out for themselves, as they discover what sort of position they need to get into in order to get to sleep. They’ll be exploring their crib and many will fall asleep sitting up or even while still on their feet.

Obviously, priority one with any baby is SAFETY. So yes, you should absolutely go in and lay baby on their back if they fall asleep in a position that is not safe for them (like if they’re sitting up!)

You might be wondering, “But won’t that wake them up and I’ll be back to square one?”

Yes and no – remember, BABY. SLEEP. IS. COMPLICATED.

There is a good chance that baby will wake up and want to interact with you, but if you lay them down, reassure them that it’s still time for sleep, and then promptly leave the room, chances are that they will find their way back to sleep before long. After all, they did it once, they can do it again! It may not be ideal, but it is better than risking them falling over.

So what if baby just looks uncomfortable? They’re definitely not in a dangerous position, but they just somehow managed to wriggle their way into the corner of their crib…

Keep in mind that what may seem uncomfortable to you might be super comfortable for baby! The most common scenario I see is baby lying against the edge of the crib, which we equate with sleeping against a wall, which is not something most adults are super fond of.

But babies do seem to like sleeping while pushed up against something. It may be for a sense of security, or the feeling of being next to someone. Whatever it is, they do seem to gravitate towards some kind of a surface to sleep against.

So if they do end up a little smushed against the side of the crib, or curled up into a ball in the corner… your best bet is to leave them be.

Again, our first priority is always safety, so if baby has a limb hanging out between the bars, or is in a position that might make it difficult to breathe, go ahead and reposition them. Just remember to make it quick and quiet, and not linger any more than you have to!

As for what to do when your partner gets into a position that only leaves you with seven inches of space on the edge of the bed…you’re on your own with that one.