sleep conTRAPtions

Since becoming a pediatric sleep consultant, there are a few questions I’ve grown accustomed to hearing over and over again.

Is my baby going to cry?

How long will they cry for?

When will they start sleeping through the night?

When will I be able to start sleeping through the night?

And even though they never come right out and say it like this, parents want to know if there is some kind of magical solution that will solve their problems instantaneously – without minimal effort, and no crying or protesting

None have ever come right out and said it like that obviously. What they do say is something along the lines of, “A friend of mine got her toddler _____ and she says that her baby has been knocking out at bedtime without any problems ever since.”

Then they’ll ask me if I think it’ll work for them. Or if we’re face-to-face, they give me that slightly hopeful, somewhat quizzical look, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I’ll tell them that their child is an ideal candidate for the ______ and that it will solve their baby’s sleep problems in an instant.

And when you consider just how many products are out there that say they’ll get your baby to sleep, it’s not surprising to think that maybe one of them would be the solution. Maybe the self-rocking crib? The vibrating mattress pad? The weighted blanket? The weighted sleep suit? The hypnotizing bedtime book?

I’m not making this stuff up by the way. These are actual products available for purchase (and it’s not even a comprehensive list)!

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these products won’t work to help your baby fall asleep (they wouldn’t be on the market still if they didn’t work); the opposite, in fact. Some of these products may actually work and do as they say, but that’s actually the problem.

Let’s take the hypnotizing baby book as an example (titled The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep in case you want to go look it up). Maybe you’ve heard of it and its promise to get your kids to go to sleep through repetitive phrases and near-constant yawning on your end as the reader. Let’s say you buy the book, read it to your child at bedtime, and it works. That’s awesome, but what will happen if your child wakes up in the middle of the night? Or if you’re away from home and you’ve forgotten the book? Will your child still be able to fall asleep?

Remember that the ultimate goal, at the end of the day, is for your child to learn how to put themselves to sleep – at bedtime, in the middle of the night, in someone else’s house, for naps, etc.

If they rely on ANYTHING, like a hypnotizing bedtime story for example, to help them get into sleep, then they don’t actually know how to fall asleep on their own.

Sleep is a skill. It’s no different than swimming, riding a bike, driving a car, or playing the piano. While we may be born with the ability to fall asleep, it does actually take practice to refine that skill. Whenever you put your little one to sleep with motion, shushing, vibration, feeding, etc, you’re doing the practice for them. It’s like you’re holding onto the seat of their bike while they’re trying to learn how to ride it.

This is what sets me (and other sleep consultants) apart from all these conTRAPtions. We (you and I) work together to teach your child how to master the skill of sleep. We’ll break the steps down and take them from beginner to expert sleeper. No longer is your child going to be a backseat rider in the car on their way to sleepy town.

As a result, no matter where your child is sleeping or who is watching them, they’ll have no problem putting themselves to sleep, and staying asleep ALL night.

As an obvious bonus, you get the benefit of a well-rested child (and parent!), and a baby who loves to sleep.

Just the same as with any other talent, when we’re good at it, we enjoy doing it. It’s no longer frustrating, and we engage in it for its own pleasure. My son loves bedtime, as do the majority of those I’ve worked with. There are no bedtime battles or tears. Bedtime is a relaxing period where your child gets to spend quality time with you and looks forward to getting into bed to do what they’re good at.

Teaching your baby the skills needed to fall asleep on their own really is the cure-all for their (and your!) nighttime woes!